Fuzzy Pink Bunny Slippers
by Lucrece Malfoy
Summary: Ever wonder what type of slippers Professor Snape wears? Harry discovers this humiliating secret and decides to get revenge! (COMPLETED)
1. Introduction

Fuzzy Pink Bunny Slippers  
Introduction  
  
Harry and Draco are back in yet another adventure! No, they're not reading minds, they're in detention. *BOO!* *ducks* *NOOO! It gets better!* While serving detention in Snape's dungeon, they make a strange discovery. Professor Snape wears bunny slippers! Can Snape convince Harry and Draco not to spill the beans? Find out now!  
  
I do not own the Harry Potter characters. JK Rowling does. A brilliant woman, she is.   
  
Humor  
PG for random acts of strangness  
  
Chapter Preview  
  
Part One: Fight! Detention!  
Part Two: In The Dungeon  
Part Three: I Know What Type Of Slippers You Wear  
Part Four: Blackmail  
Part Five: They Know, Snape  
Part Six: Rubber Duckies and Percy  
Part Seven: A Strange World  
Epilouge  
  
Part of the Adventures of Harry Potter & Draco Malfoy series  
  
Story #1: What Women Want  
Story #2: Fuzzy Pink Bunny Slippers  
  
Story 3 & 4 coming soon! 


	2. Part One: Fight! Detention!

Fuzzy Pink Bunny Slippers  
Part One: Fight! Detention!  
  
"Malfoy, I'm sick of your bullshit, you stupid little git," snarled Harry, eyes narrowing. Harry and Draco were fighting because Draco was complaining to Harry about Pansy and how his life sucked, yet again. "What was that, Potter?" he spat angrily. "You heard me," he snarled. "Fight! Fight! Fight!" chanted Fred, George, Seamus, Lee, and Ron. Harry tackled Draco to the ground and they began to wrestle. "BOYS!" bellowed a familiar voice. Draco and Harry looked up into the face of Professor McGonagall. Draco and Harry were both pulled to their feet by the napes of their necks.   
  
"Let's go, boys," she hissed, dragging them down the hallway. She tossed them into her office and disappeared. Harry and Draco sat in chairs on the opposite sides of the room. Professor McGongall reappeared five minutes later, Professor Snape sweeping along side her. Professor McGonagall slammed the door behind her. "You two are in your FIFTH YEAR!" she bellowed louder than before. "I expect more maturity from you two!" Snape glared at Harry as if it were all his fault. "Now, how should we punish them, Severus?" she glanced briefly at Professor Snape. A wicked smile came across his face. "They can serve detention with me tomorrow night." Professor McGongall pondered for a moment, then agreed. Snape grabbed Malfoy by the shoulder and pulled him from the room. Draco shot a triumphant smirk at Harry as he left. Harry knew Snape would work him a lot harder than Malfoy. "Go ahead, Potter. Back to the common room!" barked Professor McGonagall. Harry fled from the room and back to Gryffindor Tower.  
  
"So, what happened?" Ron, the twins, Lee, and Seamus greeted him eagerly. "Detention with Snape," he said sadly. The other boys groaned. "Tough luck," said Ron sympathetically. "I'll wait for you tomorrow night in the common room." Harry nodded and headed up the stairs to the boys' dormitories.   
  
Harry picked at his food glumly the next morning. Hedwig came swooping in with the other owls to deliver mail. A small envelope was clutched in her beak. Harry took the letter and patted Hedwig, who hooted appreciatively and helped herself to a piece of Harry's toast before taking off again. Harry opened the letter and began to read.  
  
Mr. Potter,  
  
Your detention will take place tonight at eight o'clock in Professor Snape's dungeon. Make sure to be prompt.   
  
Professor McGonagall  
  
He sighed and threw down the letter. "Great. Just great," he snapped irritably. Ron didn't dare ask what was wrong. He already knew what was wrong. Harry gathered up his books without a word and headed off for History of Magic, their first class of the day.   
  
Harry barely paid attention to anything any of his teachers said. All he could think about was detention and how rotten it was going to be. During Potions, Snape kept glaring at Harry like it was his idea for him to spend a evening in detention with him. Harry sighed and gathered his books. Detention was only five hours away.   
  
At dinner, like breakfast and lunch, Harry barely ate. He could only think of what a ass Malfoy was. He glanced over at the Slytherin table and Malfoy caught his eye. He gloated and sneered. "Rotten little prat," he muttered under his breath. "Okay, Harry?" Ron was looking at him with a worried look on his face. "Yes," he muttered and finished his pumpkin juice. Harry stood up and grabbed his bag. "I'm going to the common room." He stalked out of the Great Hall and up the marble staircases. "Looking forward to detention, Potter?" called Harry from behind him. "You little..." Harry raised his wand as well as his fists. "Go ahead, Potter. You'll just get some more detention with Snape," he leered at Harry. Harry's eyes darkened and he spun around on his heel. He stormed up the staircase and toward the Fat Lady. "GUM DROP!" he bellowed angrily. The Fat Lady stared at him in shock. "My, my," she said watching him as he pushed through the portrait and into the common room.  
  
Harry flopped down in an arm chair and glanced at his watch. One hour to go. He sighed and pulled out the Standard Book of Spells, Grade Five and lost himself in the chapters. Exhausted from lack of sleep and food, he slowly nodded off, his chin slumping to his chest.   
  
"HARRY POTTER!" a loud, angry voice jolted Harry from his nap. Professor McGonagall was staring angrily at him. "Professor Snape informed me that you did not show for detention!" Harry looked at his watch sleepily. It read 8:30. Harry groaned inwardly and stood up. "Sorry, Professor. I was doing homework and I dozed off," he said sheepishly. Professor McGongall's face softened slightly. "To the dungeon, NOW Potter," she said pointing at the back of the portrait hole. Harry quickly scampered from the room and down to Snape's dungeon. 


	3. Part Two: In The Dungeon

Fuzzy Pink Bunny Slippers  
Part Two: In The Dungeon  
  
Harry flew down the staircases and burst through the door to Snape's dungeon. Malfoy spun around and began to snicker. "Snape's pretty mad at you, Potter," he sneered at Harry. "Shove it, Malfoy," he hissed. "Mr. Potter, you finally decided to join us," a very icy voice spoke into his ear. "Sorry, Professor. I was studying and lost track of time." Snape glared at him. "No excuses. You will be staying twenty minutes longer then." He swept up to the front of the room and sat down at his desk. "Go help Mr. Malfoy jar those newts eyes, Potter," he said coldly. Harry reluctently sat down next to Draco. He worked silently and quickly. The time seemed to drag along. Draco kept up a steady stream of chatter about Quidditch and how great Slytherins were with Snape. "Alright, Mr. Malfoy. You may leave." Snape stood up and Harry noticed something shocking. Snape was wearing slippers. But not just any slippers. They were fuzzy and pink and bunnies!   
  
Harry shook his head. "Wow, I'm really out of it. I thought Snape was wearing bunny slippers!" he dismissed what he saw as just a illusion because he was so tired. Draco smirked and strutted out of the dungeon. Harry kept jarring newts eyes and Snape's quill was stratching across a piece of parchment quickly. Snape saw him watching and glared at him. Harry began to work again until his extra twenty minutes were up. "Dismissed, Potter," he barked. Harry stood up and streched. He headed out into the almost deserted hallway, where he met Colin Creevey, a fourth year who idolized him. "Colin! What are you doing here?" he hissed pulling Colin behind a statue of Merlin. "I heard you had detention and wanted to meet you," he stared up at Harry with wide eyes. Harry heard footsteps and gasped. "Quiet! Snape's coming!" Harry noticed Colin's camera swinging around his neck. "Hey, Colin, old pal, can I borrow your camera?" Colin nodded eagerly. As Snape walked by, Harry noticed the floppy ears of bunnies from under his robes. Harry quickly whispered a spell to raise the hem of Snape's robes a few inches and he got a good photograph of Snape's bunny slippers. "Gotcha!" he said triumphantly. "Thanks, Colin. I'll give you the camera back tomorrow." Harry ran off toward the small photography lab they had in the school.   
  
"I hope this works," he mumbled. When the photo came out, it clearly showed Snape's bunny slippers. "Excellent," a huge smile broke out across Harry's face. He grabbed the camera and photo, then headed for Gryffindor Tower. He quickly glanced at his watch. Eleven o'clock. He crept towards the Fat Lady and whispered "Gum Drops!" She smiled slightly. "I'm glad to see you're in a better mood, dear." Harry grinned at her and hurried into the common room. Ron and Hermoine were the only ones still up. Ron was writing a letter and Hermoine was reading a spell book. They both looked up when he entered the room. "Harry!"  
  
Hermoine hurried over. "Was it bad?" she looked worried. Harry shook his head. "It was awesome," he grinned happily. Hermoine back away, like he was mad and out of his mind. Ron looked at him curiously. "What's that?" He pointed to the photo in Harry's hand. "Blackmail, my dear friend." Ron grinned and ran over. He grabbed the photo and began to howl with laughter when he saw what it was. "Oh Harry, that's priceless!" he wiped a single tear from his eye. Hermoine took the photo and her jaw dropped. "Oh Harry!" she whispered in awe. To his surprise, she began to laugh hysterically. "This is excellent! Get that bloody moron for being so cruel! Get him good!" The three friends laughed until their sides felt like they would split. "Let's...let's go to bed," choked out Harry. Hermoine nodded and waved a quick goodnight to Harry and Ron as she went into the girls' dormitory. Ron and Harry headed to the boys' dormitory where they flopped into their beds. The last thing Harry heard before he drifted to sleep was the sound of Ron's muffled chuckles from the bed next to him.   
  
Harry awoke the next morning in a wonderful mood. He headed down to the common room, armed with the photo, a quill, and parchment. He had magically made hundreds of copies of the bunny slipper photo. Harry bit his tounge and then began to scrawl in messy handwriting across the parchment.  
  
To Severus Snape,  
  
You will pay for our misery. I have a photograph of something that you wouldn't want getting out to the school. Meet me at the entrance hall after lunch and we'll work something out.   
  
your friend,  
Mr. X  
  
Harry grinned and headed to the Owlery. He couldn't use Hedwig or Pigwidgeon, so he tied the letter to the leg of a tawny owl that belonged to the school. He laughed all the way down to breakfast. 


	4. Part Three: I Know What Type Of Slippers...

Fuzzy Pink Bunny Slippers  
Part Three: I Know What Type Of Slippers You Wear  
  
Harry laughed all the way down to breakfast, where he took his normal seat between Ron and Hermione. "What's up, Harry?" Hermione's eyes narrowed suspiciously. Harry grinned proudly. "I've blackmailed Snape!" Hermione's eyes widened. "You what?!" she gasped. Ron was snickering. "I told him that'd he pay for our misery." Harry looked very proud of himself. "Uh oh, Snape is coming!" hissed Hermione. Snape was storming into the Great Hall, his face contorted in fury. But Harry saw a frightened look pass across his face as well. Harry wolfed down his bacon and toast. "Must go, got to grab my books." He winked at Hermione and Ron, then snuck out of the hall while Snape's back was turned. One by one, the students filed out of the hall. Harry wore his Invisibilty Cloak which had been hidden under his robes. He pulled out his wand and gave it a quick swish. Across the entrance hall wall, in bold letters was  
  
PROFESSOR S. SNAPE: I KNOW WHAT TYPE OF SLIPPERS YOU WEAR!!!  
  
Harry snuck into the boys lavitory, which was had a few other boys in it, including Ron, and pulled off the cloak in a stall. He flushed the toilet and hurried out. Waves of laughter greeted Ron and Harry as they pushed their way into the entrance hall. Ravenclaws, Gryffindors, and Hufflepuffs were laughing hysterically. The Slytherins looked puzzled. Snape came storming into the hall. "What is the meaning of this?!" he roared at the crowd. They fell silent and a few snickered behind their hands. Snape looked up and turned ashen at the sight of the words on the wall. "WHO DID THIS?!" he bellowed. "Now, now Severus. I'm sure it's just a harmless prank." Dumbledore appeared at his side. "To class with all of you!" Dumbledore smiled at them and they hurried off laughing. "POTTER!" bellowed Snape. "It was you! I know it!" he shrieked. A vein on his forehead was throbbing and about to pop. Harry looked shocked. Dumbledore frowned. "Severus, there is no proof Harry did this. Go to class, Harry." Harry bolted down the hall toward Transfiguration.   
  
"Excellent, Harry," Harry and Ron slapped hands as he slid into his seat in Professor McGonagall's room. Professor McGonagall came striding in and stood at the front of the class. All of the boys were grinning and the girls were giggling excitedly, even Hermione. "Yes, yes. It was a very funny joke. Now, onto Transfiguration!" barked Professor McGonagall.   
  
On his way to Care of Magical Creatures, Harry heard a drawling voice call his name. "Potter! Hey Potter!" Draco Malfoy signaled for Crabbe and Goyle to head to class. Ron and Hermione left as well. "I know it was you, Potter," he hissed at Harry. Harry's eyes widened innocently. "What was me?" "The slippers joke." A rare smile slipped across Draco's face. "Bloody brilliant, Potter. I would have never expected you to pull off such a good joke." Harry looked stunned. "But isn't Snape your favorite teacher?" Draco sneered. "I can't respect a man who wears bunny slippers, now can I?" He sailed off toward where Crabbe and Goyle were waiting. Harry pinched himself to make sure what he heard was real and joined the class.   
  
After, Draco walked over to Harry again. "Let me in on the joke, Potter." Harry raised an eyebrow. "Okay, Malfoy." They smirked at each other. "Now, how to piss him off even more." Draco rubbed his hands together gleefully. He had obviously been thinking of ways to make the joke better. "Here's what we'll do, Potter," he lowered his voice and whispered in Harry's ear. "We'll put a live bunny on Professor Snape's desk." Harry burst out laughing. "You have a brilliant mind, you know that Malfoy?" They headed in seperate directions. Harry couldn't wait for Potions that afternoon.   
  
Harry, Draco, Ron, Crabbe, Hermione, and Goyle were the first to arrive at Potions that afternoon. Ron, Draco, and Harry were snickering. Crabbe and Goyle were confused and Hermione was tight lipped: she didn't think it was a good idea to make Snape mad again. They sat down at their desks and waited for more of the class to arrive. Draco pulled a rabbit out his bag, without letting Crabbe and Goyle or the rest of the class see. He took his wand and whispered "Wingardium Leviosa!" The rabbit flew up into the air and landed smack in the middle of Snape's desk. The class began to snicker at the sight of a rabbit knawing on Snape's papers. Harry and Draco grinned at each other. Snape camed sweeping into the room and stopped dead when he saw the bunny rabbit.   
  
"WHO DID THIS?!" he shrieked, looking around wildly. Poor Neville's whole body was twitching. It was no secret Snape hated Neville and that Neville was deathly afraid of him. Snape grabbed Harry, Ron, and Hermione's wands. "Let's just see which one of you did this!" he snapped. He put the tip of his wand to each and said "Prior Incantato!" The last spell performed on all three of their wands was Reparo: the spell that had been working on in Charms class with Professor Flitwick. Snape glowered and threw their wands back. "If I ever find out who is behind this, they will be expelled!" He hissed angrily and stormed to his desk.  
  
Class wasn't pleasant for Gryffindors and Slytherins alike. Snape was in such a foul mood, he screamed at Crabbe when he messed up his potion. The whole class was in shock. They all left the class grumbling about Snape and how it was unfair that he was so cruel. Except for Neville Longbottom. He was blissfully happy. "Snape was too busy insulting Crabbe to even make fun of me!" He practically skipped back to the Gryffindor common room. Hermione, Ron, and Harry all burst out laughing.  
  
  
  
Will Snape figure out Harry and Draco are behind the joke? How will they blackmail him, without Snape knowing it's them? Chapter four is coming soon! *cheers* 


	5. Part Four: Blackmail

Fuzzy Pink Bunny Slippers  
Part Four: Blackmail  
  
Harry was about to go to the Gryffindor common room after dinner, when Draco pulled him aside. "Onto the next stage, Potter. Blackmail." His eyes were glittering maliciously. "What did you have in mind?" Harry smirked. "Tomorrow morning, Snape is going to sing 'I'm A Little Tea Pot' in front of everybody. Then during Potions, he's going to do the Funky Chicken." Harry howled with laughter. "How are you going to make him do that?" Draco whipped out the copy of the photograph Harry had given him. "I'm going to send this to him, along with a note. See you tomorrow, Potter," he headed off to the Slytherin common room, while Harry went to the Gryffindor common room.  
  
Draco sat down on his bed and pulled out parchment, the photograph, ink, and a quill. His quill made a light stratching sound as he scribbled the note furiously.  
  
Professor Severus Snape-  
  
Tomorrow morning you will sing the song "I'm A Little Tea Pot" in front of everybody in the Great Hall. You will then do the Funky Chicken during each of your Potions classes. Here is evidence that you wear bunny slippers. Go ahead and rip it up. There's more where that came from. Cheers.  
  
Mr. X and Mr. Y  
  
Draco grinned at his work and slowly drifted off to sleep. Tomorrow would be a facinating day.  
  
The next morning, Draco pulled Harry aside in the entrance hall. "It's done. The letter has been sent. Signed Misters X and Y." Harry laughed. "Can't wait to see if it works." Draco smirked. "Don't worry, Potter. It will."  
  
Meanwhile, Snape sat up at the professor's table, opening an envelope. He read the note, saw the photograph, and gasped loudly. He tore the photograph into a hundred tiny pieces. Snape mustered all the courage he had and stood up. "What are you doing, Severus?" hissed Professor McGongall. He shook his head mutely and opened his mouth.   
  
I'm a little tea pot  
Short and stout  
Here is my handle  
Here is my spout  
When I get all steamed up here me shout  
Tip me over and pour me out!  
  
Snape never looked angrier as he finished the song. Loud howls of laughter came from every table in the Great Hall. The teachers next to him were snickering and trying to hide their smiles. "My, my!" gasped Professor Sprout. Little Professor Flitwick had fallen off his chair. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled and Professor McGongall was grinning widely.   
"Thank you for that lovely song, Severus," said Dumbledore polietly. The students laughed even harder. Snape cursed and stormed out of the hall.  
  
Classes were normal until they entered Potions. Snape was in a very foul mood and they all slid into their chairs meekly. He stood up at the front of his room and cleared his throat.  
  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah  
*clap* *clap* *clap* *clap*   
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah  
*clap* *clap* *clap* *clap*   
  
Snape was doing the Funky Chicken (aka the Chicken Dance) in front of the class, clapping and making the hand gestures. As he put his hands under his arms to make his wings flap, the stunned class burst out laughing. Snape was glowering angrily as he finished the dance and went to start the lesson. They were still snickering and he stared at them. "SHUT UP!" he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. The students were stunned into silence once again. They tore out of the room and followed Snape toward Dumbledore's office.  
  
"DUMBLEDORE!" bellowed Snape as he stormed into the office. Dumbledore looked thoroughly shocked. "What on earth is it Severus?" "One of them!" he gestured at the students. Has been blackmailing me!" Dumbledore frowned. "I am telling the culprit now to stop otherwise action will have to be taken." The whole class nodded. "Dismissed!" barked Snape. "Go to your common rooms!" They all scuried away as fast as they could. Draco held them up outside though. "Listen up everybody! Profesor Snape wears fuzzy pink bunny slippers!" The class laughed, thinking it was a joke. Draco scowled. "Think it's a joke? Think again!" He and Harry began to toss the photographs into the crowd. The other Slytherins and Gryffindors were all laughing hysterically. Now the truth would be spread all around the school. Snape wears bunny slippers!  
  
"Didja here? Snape wears fuzzy pink bunny slippers!" A third year Hufflepuff whispered to a second year Ravenclaw. The girl bobbed her blonde head. "Isn't it funny? I told everybody I know!"   
  
"Have you heard? Snape wears bunny slippers!" George Weasley passed it on to a seventh year Slytherin who howled with laughter. "I can't believe the head of Slytherin house wears pink bunny slippers!"  
  
Harry and Draco grinned, knowing their work was done. Nobody would ever have to know that the famous Misters X and Y were supposedly the two biggest arch-rivals in the school. Nobody had to know Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter were actually working together on something. Or did they? 


	6. Part Five: They Know, Snape

Fuzzy Pink Bunny Slippers  
Part Five: They Know, Snape  
  
Thanks so much to everybody who reviewed! *dances around and hugs them* And a special note to Invader Doom: Maybe Draco IS up to something. ;) You'll find out now! :D  
  
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Life was good. Snape had lost the fight in him and Harry couldn't be happier. The only sign that Snape wasn't a mute was the grunts he emitted every so often in class while checking their potions. Draco was gloating to everybody it was his idea to make fun of Snape. Harry was boiling inside but didn't dare say anything, knowing Malfoy would squeal on him before you could say 'Quidditch'. Neville Longbottom was now the happiest boy in all of Hogwarts. With the defeat of Professor Snape, he had become bolder and less clumsy. *CRASH!* Everybody looked around Professor Flitwick's classroom to see that Neville had magicked the legs off his chair. Well, he was somewhat less clumsy. Somewhat.  
  
Malfoy was back to his old self, teasing the younger Gryffindors and sneering at Harry, Ron, and Hermione. In their next Care of Magical Creatures class, he called Hermione a Mudblood again. Ron tackled him so hard, they flew six feet across the yard. The boys were chanting "Fight! Fight!" while the girls watched in horror. "Oh Draco, watch out!" squealed Pansy Parkinson. "RON! Stop it!" shrieked Hermione. "Shut up, Mudblood! He's hurting Draco!" Hermione's furious gaze latched on a squealing Pansy. She quickly tackled Pansy and they were wrestling in the grass, yanking at each other's hair. When Ron got up, Harry took the oppurtunity to pounce on Malfoy. He punched him hard in the nose. Draco retaliated by punching Harry in the eye. "HARRY! MALFOY! What are yeh doin'?" yelled a voice from behind them. Draco and Harry looked up to see Hagrid standing behind them. Lavender Brown and Millicent Bulstrode had pulled Hermione and Pansy off of each other. Each girl was brushing dirt off their robes and glaring at each other. Hermione had a long cut above her eye and grass stains on her face. Pansy had a bloody nose and grass stains on her face. "Hermione! Pansy! To the infirmary with yeh!" barked Hagrid. Ron and Seamus grabbed Harry while Crabbe and Goyle grabbed Draco. Harry had a black eye and Draco had a bloody nose. "DETENTION! All four of yeh! Go see Madam Pomfrey!" Harry cowered. He had never seen Hagrid so angry. Harry scooted off toward the infirmary.   
  
"Tut tut!" Madam Pomfrey clicked her tongue at Harry as he entered. "Another one fighting, eh? Go sit down! I have to take care of Mr. Malfoy and Miss Parkinson." Harry slumped into chair next to Hermione. Hermione looked shocked that she had even done such a thing. "A broken nose, Mr. Malfoy. Tsk, tsk," she wagged a long finger at him. "Miss Parkinson, you're nosebleed should have stopped. To class!" she gestured at the door. Pansy slumped out the door. Madam Pomfrey looked at Hermione's cut. She quickly healed it with her wand. "To class, Miss Granger!" Hermione hurried off to Charms. Madam Pomfrey looked at Harry with narrowed eyes. "We meet again, Mr. Potter." She shook her head. "Nothing I can do about that black eye. No cuts...to class, Potter!" Draco grinned maliciously at Harry as he passed. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach: Malfoy was going to squeal on him.  
  
"Are you sure?" Ron looked at Harry with a worried expression. Harry nodded glumly. "As sure as pigs squeal." Ron sighed. "Nothing to do but wait, Harry." They dragged their feet up the stairs to the Gryffindor common room.   
  
"Professor Snape? I know who did it," Draco Malfoy strolled into Snape's office that night. He glared at him supiciously. "Oh?" "It was Potter," he said smoothly. "I saw him myself." Snape looked furious and triumphant at the same time. "To Dumbledore's, Mr. Malfoy." They headed out of the room and up to Dumbledore's office.   
  
"Are you sure, Mr. Malfoy?" Dumbledore peered at Draco with suspicious eyes. "Quite, Professor," he said calmly. "I have a feeling the whole truth isn't be told." Draco began to squirm uncomfortably. "Well..." Just then, Harry, Ron, and Hermione burst in. "He helped too!" shouted Harry with rage. Draco's face paled. "Mr. Malfoy?" Dumbledore questioned him. "I...er," he stumbled. "Of course you and Mr. Potter will be punished." Dumbledore frowned at them. "A month of detention should do it." Harry and Draco dashed out of the room, followed by Ron and Hermione. Snape got an ugly look on his face. "Professor!" he stuttered. "Now, now, Severus. It was just a joke. Besides, I myself have been known to wear bunny slippers once in a while." Dumbledore winked and Snape marched from the office grumbling. Dumbledore really was crazy. 


	7. Part Six: Rubber Duckies and Percy

Fuzzy Pink Bunny Slippers  
Part Six: Rubber Duckies and Percy  
  
Harry and Ron slapped hands, glad that Harry only had a month of detention. Meanwhile, as he, Draco, and Ron were walking along a corridor, they heard singing. "That sounds like..." They all faced each other. "PERCY!" The warbling became louder as they drew closer to the prefect's bathroom. "Rubber duckie, you're the one, you make bathtime loads of fun..." sang the voice. Draco began to snicker. "Weasel, I think your brother likes duckies!" he sneered. Ron scowled and walked to the portrait. "Purple people eater," he hissed. The portrait swung open to reveal Percy in the bathtub playing with a rubber duck. Percy whirled around at the sound of their footsteps. "RON!" he shrieked.   
  
Ron doubled over, laughing. "You like rubber duckies, do you?" Draco sneered at Percy. Harry grinned, trying to contain his laughter. "OUT!" bellowed Percy. He snatched up his wand and thrust it at them. The three boys ran away laughing. As they tore around a corner, Penelope Clearwater came strolling along. "Hey Penny!" gasped Ron. She looked puzzled. "What is it, Ron? And what on earth is wrong with you three?" Harry snorted. "Your boyfriend plays with rubber ducks!" They began to howl again. Draco headed off to the Slytherin common room, while Harry and Ron went to the Gryffindor common room, leaving a stunned Penny in the middle of the corridor. "Ducks?" she called after them, confused. That just made Harry and Ron laugh harder.  
  
The next morning, the whole school was buzzing about Percy and ducks instead of Snape and bunnies. Snape looked relieved but Percy was humiliated. He slumped down in his seat, the tips of his ears burning red. "Silence!" called Dumbledore. "There will be a meeting tonight at seven in the Great Hall. After dinner. We have some issues to discuss." The students look stunned but went back to their chatter. They'd just have to find out what was going on later.  
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat patiently in the Great Hall after dinner, waiting for Dumbledore's announcement. He began to speak. "It has come to my attention that people have been cruel to Professor Snape because of his slippers and Percy Weasley because of his rubber duck," everyone snickered. "There is no reason to treat a staff member or peer cruelly because of their differences. I'm sure there's something strange about each and everyone of you. I myself, enjoy knitting." "I like to bake! Like Muggle women do!" blurted out Draco Malfoy, looking horrified at what he said. "I...er, enjoy swimming...in the nude," Professor McGonagall blushed. "I talk to and sleep with my stuffed bunny, Cookie!" yelled Padma Patil. Her twin, Parvati, nodded "I do the same with my bunny, Lollipop." The whole hall buzzed with the sound of students admitting their embarrassing secrets. Dumbledore looked pleased. Snape and Percy looked relieved.   
  
The students and professors climbed the long staircases up to bed. Harry walked over to Snape. "Er, terribly sorry for embarrassing you, Professor," he mumbled. Snape scowled. "You're forgiven, Potter." He swept off, long black robes billowing. Harry was shocked: Snape had never been that nice to him before. 


	8. Part Seven: A Strange World

Fuzzy Pink Bunny Slippers  
Part Seven: A Strange World  
  
"What a strange world," mumbled Ron, watching Snape shuffle around in bunny slippers and Percy carry his rubber duck. Parvati and Padma were talking to identical stuffed bunny rabbits. Draco Malfoy was offering fresh-baked cookies to Professor Flitwick and Hannah Abbott, a quiet Hufflepuff.  
Harry wasn't paying attention; he was too busy carrying on a conversation with a tiny snake he had named Bubba. He secret wasn't actually a whole secret: Harry was a Parselmouth and loved to talk to snakes.   
  
Ron himself was juggling empty butterbeer bottles, while whistling Yankee Doodle. Hermione was walking around on her hands. From the window, Harry could see Professor McGonagall jumping into the lake...nude. Professor Dumbledore was walking around, knitting a red scarf while chatting with students. "Mr. Potter," said an icy from from behind him.  
  
Harry looked up a Snape with wide eyes. He looked disgruntled. "Since you apologized, Dumbledore is making me take away your months worth of detention." Snape stormed away while Harry cheered happily. Ron walked over, juggling the bottles. He stopped whistling and looked curiously at Harry. "What did Snape want?" Harry grinned. "To tell me I no longer have detention!" Ron grinned and slapped Harry's hand. How he managed to keep juggling was beyond Harry's knowledge. "Cookie, Potter?"  
  
Harry spun around and saw Draco Malfoy standing behind him. Harry took a cookie from the plate. "Mmm..." Then he spit it out. "Ugh! Malfoy, you're a terrible cook!" Draco was howling with laughter. "It's a potion Father taught me," he sailed away, with a smirk on his face. Harry scowled and spun around. Ron was back to juggling butterbeer bottles. "Hello, Harry!" Hermione walked over to him. "Hey, 'Mione," he grinned at her. She smiled back and walked off to talk to Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil, and Padma Patil. Harry sighed. Maybe Hogwarts wouldn't be "normal" from now on, but it would certainly be interesting... 


	9. Epilogue

Fuzzy Pink Bunny Slippers  
Epilogue  
  
*in a teacher's voice* Now children, can any of you tell me what the moral of the story is? *waves hand around* Ooh, ooh, meeee!   
  
Okay, seriously, the moral to this story is don't take advantage of somebody because of their differences. I know it may seem hard to believe a humor story has a moral, but this is the point I wanted to get across to everybody. I hope you enjoyed the story!  
  
The Adventures of Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy  
  
Story #1: What Women Want  
Story #2: Fuzzy Pink Bunny Slippers  
  
Now introducing...Ginny Weasley, as the newest star in...  
  
Story #3: Draco Malfoy: the Slytherin Who Shagged Me  
(COMING SOON)  
  
Ginny Weasley is a bright, pretty, but shy Gryffindor. Draco Malfoy is a loud, cunning, but handsome Slytherin. Will their relationship stay strong? Or will Harry Potter make trouble for them?  
romance/drama/humor; R for brief sexual situations. 


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